Relationships are always worth restoring. I never met anyone who found internal harmony by discarding relationships whenever there was a rift, a hurt or a conflict.  Interestingly a significant amount of all so called ‘spiritual literature’ is focused on teaching us how to get along with one another. Christians have no monopoly on this, you will find it Judaism,Islam, Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism, Buddhism, notwithstanding  that fringe coterie of extremists in all belief systems   who sow hatred.  Restoring relationships is peacemaking, and peacemaking is hard work. Its not easy to resolve conflict, whether it be between Israel and Palestine or in the interpersonal realm.. Peace making is not avoiding conflict nor is peacemaking  appeasement, but it is  always  a tough hard slog.  I do not know about any of you, but now that I have crossed the big age bar, and as friends die, I feel the need to set certain things right somehow,  not over events but with people whom I discarded and rejected or who rejected me over the years because of perceived affronts to ego. I want to act while there is still time. But how to do it in a way that is not self serving, uber soapy, and obnoxious?  I do not have an answer yet, but I have thought about a few prerequisites. I have never been a good listener, I am a talker, so I am  trying to learn to listen more, and it is a chore.  I also know that I have to take the initiative, not postpone, not put it off to later, because delay only deepens resentment and makes things worse. I know little about you, but I know that I have a few peace conferences to schedule with certain people I have avoided now for a long time, and I am working up the neve to take the first step.  I want to get myself in the mood  to listen, to using my ears more than my mouth; I know I will  need to acknowledge what was my fault; that how I say what I say will be as important as what I say, and I need to keep emotions in check so I can address the problem and not castigate the person; I also know that I may not be able to resolve the problem, but I must try to  reconcile with the person.  It helps me to think it that way, focus on reconciliation not on resolution, its OK to have differing opinions, it is not OK to flush other people  down the proverbial loo. 

The Old Irish used to talk about the time to make your soul, the Hindus about  the successive stages of life, what ever the  age, the time is always ripe  to put things right.  


About whispersfrombabylon

A father. A son. A priest. A scholar, a lawyer
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